While You Were Offline: Tim Cook Pwned President Trump

Apple CEO Tim Cook met with President Trump last week—and the president called him "Tim Apple."

Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images

Another week, another avalanche of things bombarding the collective psyche. "Like what?" you ask. For starters, everyone is mourning the death of actor Luke Perry , thinking about the legacy of Michael Jackson, and wondering if Ivanka Trump is getting off too easily as the investigation net tightens around the other Trump children . Meanwhile, the economy is slowing down as the national deficit explodes and corporate tax income drops dramatically . Actually, that's a pretty quiet week by 2019 standards. Regardless, there's a lot going on. Here's just a taste.

Tim Cook Pwns President Trump

What Happened: Some people would be embarrassed that the leader of the free world couldn't remember their name. Some people are not Apple CEO Tim Cook.

What Really Happened: We've all been there: You're in a public setting and forget the name of the person you're speaking to and just decide to try and take a guess and hope no one notices. Of course, when you're the President of the United States and you're talking to the man in charge of one of the largest corporations in the world in front of the press at the White House, that sort of thing isn't supposed to happen. President Trump does, however, get some points for his guess.

https://twitter.com/sokane1/status/1103421841505505280

As should only be expected, the internet couldn't resist the obvious jokes.

https://twitter.com/Muna_Mire/status/1103427455295995904

https://twitter.com/RMac18/status/1103427158146351105

https://twitter.com/wskinne3/status/1103426970568646656

You're not alone in wondering just what happened to make Trump choose this particular naming option, although some people have theories .

https://twitter.com/FTNosebleeds/status/1103700088331882496

https://twitter.com/Hisler420/status/1103424750452379648

Tim Cook, though, had a pretty good sense of humor about what could, in different circumstances, have been a particularly embarrassing experience, as his profile revealed a day later .

https://twitter.com/SteveKopack/status/1103720441917685762

The Takeaway: Wait, aren't the Apples the people who own all the Beatles music? What name am I supposed to go by in order to do that? Or, wait, do I own all the music if I own Apple, and therefore Apple Music? Tell me what I have to do !

https://twitter.com/TaylorIBR646/status/1103435136996175872

The Ongoing Relationship Between President Trump and Fox News

What Happened: A closer look at the relationship between President Trump and Fox News brought up some issues neither party likely wants people to think too hard about.

What Really Happened: It's never been a secret that the President of the United States has a favorite television news network, but a story this week put the relationship between Donald Trump and Fox News in sharp relief.

https://twitter.com/JaneMayerNYer/status/1102542603378143232

Jane Mayer's piece was explosive, and quickly became a conversation piece across the internet , for obvious reasons .

https://twitter.com/peterjukes/status/1102561055404949504

https://twitter.com/TomNamako/status/1102566750833594370

https://twitter.com/hshaban/status/1102560723023077376

https://twitter.com/maggieNYT/status/1102565822428573697

https://twitter.com/joshscampbell/status/1102597636194852864

As should only be expected, a piece like this provoked a lot of response.

https://twitter.com/Fritschner/status/1102671380078907392

https://twitter.com/SteveLemongello/status/1102572398384164864

https://twitter.com/pjla48/status/1103421228428062721

No, no, wait.

https://twitter.com/Reuters/status/1103750924315648000

This could get messy for the president. Yet, the possibility that Trump interfered in Department of Justice business was somehow less controversial, it seemed, than this other bit of fallout .

https://twitter.com/farhip/status/1103356887972659200

https://twitter.com/JaneMayerNYer/status/1103366359319302145

https://twitter.com/GarrettHaake/status/1103370334781227009

https://twitter.com/JuddLegum/status/1103367409564635136

https://twitter.com/MattGertz/status/1103456975751442432

To the surprise of no one, one particular Fox News viewer was very upset about the decision.

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1103446552524345346

https://twitter.com/samstein/status/1103447981745979393

It's worth noting: The president can’t pull debates from networks for the general election—

https://twitter.com/brianstelter/status/1103449494727913478

—but, really, should anyone be that surprised at empty threats and posturing at this point?

The Takeaway: This is probably unrelated, but White House deputy chief of staff Bill Shine, a former Fox News executive, stepped down on Friday .

The House Judiciary Committee Isn't Playing Around

What Happened: Congress sent some letters suggesting that it might, perhaps, want to investigate some wrongdoing on the part of the president after all. That didn't go down well with everyone.

What Really Happened: Last week, in a moment that folks have seen coming since the Democrats took back the House in November, came to pass.

https://twitter.com/timkmak/status/1102608064337903616

Yes, the House Judiciary Committee sent 81 people or institutions requests for documents and information as the opening gambit in an incredibly wide-ranging investigation into potential corruption in and around Trump's orbit. The list of those contacted was public, and it made for interesting reading, as many pointed out .

https://twitter.com/AaronBlake/status/1102611324385837056

As if that wasn't enough of a sign that the Judiciary Committee wasn't playing around, the week held further developments to that end.

https://twitter.com/danielsgoldman/status/1103014276342693888

https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/1102975849110872064

https://twitter.com/desiderioDC/status/1102988070150983682

Goldman wasn't the only hire, as it turned out.

https://twitter.com/jeremyherb/status/1102978084129640448

Aware of the scrutiny he was now under , Jerry Nadler, who's in charge of the House Judiciary Committee, took his case to the people.

https://twitter.com/MaddowBlog/status/1102759824243208192

https://twitter.com/RepJerryNadler/status/1103012490856857600

At first, the president didn't seem too bothered by the oversight—if ready to offer an all-too-familiar refrain in response.

https://twitter.com/markknoller/status/1102630537410367489

But that attitude didn't last, as the official White House public statement on the matter made clear.

https://twitter.com/PressSec/status/1102926113909760000

President Trump took up his own cause on Twitter.

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1102920338529288193

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1102934716607578112

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1102934910900363266

The Takeaway: When President Trump starts acting up, it's clear what the next step is going to be: Time to bring out the one person who he’s clearly afraid of. Madam Speaker?

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1103713652518064129

A Self-Own for the Ages

What Happened: As House Democrats attempted to prove they weren't bigoted and instead demonstrated they are reactionary, House Republicans made an unanticipated leap towards a political self-own for the ages.

What Really Happened: Much attention was paid last week to recent comments from Democratic Rep. Ilhan Omar, in which she suggested that Americans supportive of Israel were "push[ing] for allegiance to a foreign country," something being taken by many as an accusation of dual loyalties and, subsequently, an anti-Semitic argument. It followed an earlier controversy over a (now deleted) tweet from the freshman congresswoman last month which suggested that Republican support for Israel was entirely financially motivated.

In an attempt to move past the issue—and distance itself from accusations of anti-Semitism—Democratic House leadership came up with a plan.

https://twitter.com/cimarcos/status/1102647111940739074

Yes, the House would vote against anti-Semitism , because that doesn’t legitimize criticism of Omar at . (Spoilers: It does.) This was, it's fair to say, not a particularly popular decision with everyone.

https://twitter.com/JessicaValenti/status/1102669696925646856

https://twitter.com/maxberger/status/1102652889246380033

Online defense of Omar even prompted the creation of a hashtag, #IStandWithIlhan.

https://twitter.com/antimike43/status/1103154930561441792

https://twitter.com/Perry_OB/status/1103287245530902529

https://twitter.com/jpbrammer/status/1103332861107757056

As a result, the vote was delayed as various interested parties tried to be heard on the matter.

https://twitter.com/sahilkapur/status/1103427923921551362

https://twitter.com/ByRyanBrooks/status/1103419916936536065

And what did the president think?

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1103382429140742144

Finally, on Thursday, a vote was scheduled—but only after the language of the vote had been changed from one specifically condemning anti-Semitism to one condemning all forms of hate, a shift that didn't go unnoticed.

https://twitter.com/BoKnowsNews/status/1103693535541374976

https://twitter.com/lindsemcpherson/status/1103743592328249344

https://twitter.com/lindsemcpherson/status/1103763638228316167

By the time the vote was being held, the story had become one in which Democrats were stumbling and splintering now that they were in power, with the party mired in having to address that it wasn't anti-Semitic in the first place. Things really didn't look good for the Democrats … and then, surprisingly, everything flipped when the vote actually took place, thanks to a nothing less than a Republican meltdown .

https://twitter.com/JakeSherman/status/1103780917275963394

https://twitter.com/pdmcleod/status/1103785327951532032

https://twitter.com/SarahBurris/status/1103787372939042818

Perhaps we shouldn't be too surprised; after all, Republicans had already voted down their own bill against anti-Semitism.

The Takeaway: Really, let's just go with this.

https://twitter.com/MEPFuller/status/1103792434314706944

Time Is a Flat Circle, Unless We're Talking About Time Served

What Happened: In case anyone thought that legal drama ended when someone was found guilty, Paul Manafort reappeared to confound expectations one more time. All this, and a cliffhanger, too!

What Really Happened: Former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort's legal woes continued to be the story that never ends last week, as everyone prepared for his sentencing in Virginia on Thursday. As the proceedings came down to the wire, Manafort decided to put his sentencing memos to work.

https://twitter.com/ZoeTillman/status/1103064052790710272

Special Counsel Robert Mueller's sentencing memo, however, was definitely not treading lightly on the subject , or sparing Manafort's feelings.

https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/1103061568328269825

https://twitter.com/MarshallCohen/status/1103060448163840001

https://twitter.com/CharlieGileNBC/status/1103055218374131712

https://twitter.com/bradheath/status/1103060630070849537

If that didn't look too good for Manafort, many believed that it was simply a sign of what was to come in his actual sentencing on Thursday. Well, one of his sentencings.

https://twitter.com/jamiedupree/status/1103760758343692289

OK, so that is probably not a good sign. So what was this sentencing about? Turns out, the (relatively) minor stuff.

https://twitter.com/awprokop/status/1103766900838985730

That didn't mean the sentencing was without drama. Indeed, the whole thing felt pretty dramatic.

https://twitter.com/JoshNBCNews/status/1103802964370735105

https://twitter.com/ryanjreilly/status/1103800614000226305

https://twitter.com/KatiePhang/status/1103796738836451328

https://twitter.com/ShimonPro/status/1103803882642255875

https://twitter.com/MichaelSkolnik/status/1103807656895090688

https://twitter.com/yashar/status/1103807552976871424

https://twitter.com/SethAbramson/status/1103808199784914944

The stunningly light sentence surprised many —and made quite a few think about the privilege in sentencing decisions , although others argued that it wasn't that unusual —but, as underwhelming as many people complained it was, perhaps everyone is rushing to judgment a little too early.

https://twitter.com/AriMelber/status/1103829586939428874

https://twitter.com/tribelaw/status/1103808332190625798

https://twitter.com/funder/status/1103808009975881728

https://twitter.com/Susan_Hennessey/status/1103815584649826304

https://twitter.com/JuliaManch/status/1103809540351541254

The Takeaway: Still. Less than four years, which is significantly less than prosecutors were asking for? You do have to wonder just what could have been working in the favor of Paul Manafort, don't you?

https://twitter.com/ChrisWarcraft/status/1103813870257201153

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