ReleaseTheButtholeCut Tops This Week's Internet News Roundup

ReleaseTheButtholeCut Tops This Week's Internet News Roundup

What Really Happened: With social distancing and self-quarantining becoming the norm around the world, the internet is becoming even more important in people’s lives as a tool with which to communicate, with platforms like Instagram, WhatsApp, and Facebook assuming even more central roles in how we talk to each other and share information—which makes it a problem when things start to go inexplicably wrong, disrupting that communication in worrying ways.

Ted Cruz's Space Pirates Comments Top This Week's Internet News Roundup

Ted Cruz's Space Pirates Comments Top This Week's Internet News Roundup

Senator Ted Cruz voiced support for President Trump's proposed Space Force last week. What Really Happened: There's no way to sugarcoat this: The war over abortion has intensified beyond what most would have expected in the past couple of weeks, with new bills being signed into law that significantly limit the freedom of those with wombs in certain states.

The Saga of Trump's Tax Returns Tops This Week's Internet News Roundup

The Saga of Trump's Tax Returns Tops This Week's Internet News Roundup

What Happened: As US attorney general Bill Barr faces censure from Congress for his handling of Special Counsel Robert Mueller's report , the Department of Justice's defensive position got a little extreme.

Trump's Bank Lawsuit Tops This Week's Internet News Roundup

Trump's Bank Lawsuit Tops This Week's Internet News Roundup

Whatever the reason, the Trumps filed suit against Deutsche Bank and Capital One early last week, in an attempt to prevent Congress from seeing what was going on inside his financial dealings. What Happened: Speaking of that Senate Judiciary Committee hearing last week, how'd attorney general Bill Barr do broadly?

President Trump's Meeting With Jack Dorsey Tops This Week's Internet News Roundup

President Trump's Meeting With Jack Dorsey Tops This Week's Internet News Roundup

What Happened: With all the important matters needing his attention, perhaps it's a good thing that President Trump spent part of last week meeting with the man responsible for his—and everyone's!—favorite social media platform, Twitter.

While You Were Offline: Was the Mueller Report Worth the Wait?

While You Were Offline: Was the Mueller Report Worth the Wait?

What Happened: As if Bill Barr hadn't demonstrated that he was hardly the most independent attorney general with his four-page summary of the findings of the Mueller report last month, his press conference ahead of the release called his allegiances into question even more.

While You Were Offline: Is Homeland Security Being Purged?

While You Were Offline: Is Homeland Security Being Purged?

What Really Happened: Amidst all manner of suspicion over how he'd handled—and potentially, subverted—Mueller's investigation into potential collusion between Russians and the Trump campaign of 2016, Attorney General Bill Barr appeared before Congress last week across two days (in theory, to talk about the Department of Justice's budget, although the reality was very different) for what was perhaps one of the most anticipated pieces of political theater in recent memory.

While You Were Offline: Mueller Report or Bust

While You Were Offline: Mueller Report or Bust

What Really Happened: As it happened, authorizing the subpoena-ing of the Mueller report was the least of the president’s information-request-related worries midweek, thanks to another Congressional investigation development—something both unexpected and which people had literally been waiting months for.

While You Were Offline: Devin Nunes Has a Cow (Kinda)

While You Were Offline: Devin Nunes Has a Cow (Kinda)

What Happened: For everyone who joked about President Trump making significant foreign policy announcements on Twitter once he took office, the joke's on you.